Thursday, January 2, 2014

My Response to "23 things to do instead of getting engaged before 23"

I had seen this blog pop up on my newsfeed a few times in the past few days so I decided to read it. As of a few days ago it had 2.3 million hits and I imagine it is much higher by now. If you haven’t read it you can find it HERE. I read it, thought  about it for a day, came back and read it again, and then decided I would write a response to it. 
I think it struck a chord with me because I am in the same phase of life as her, but as I read through her thoughts on marriage, singleness, religion, and things to do before she “settles down” I hurt for her. I hurt for her and so many in our generation who believe the same thing she does. She summarizes it nicely with this statement, “But then I look at my life, my relationships, and my future… and I realize that, I’m f-ing awesome.  It literally isn’t me, it’s them.” This is the thought that our generation is consumed with  – that as individuals we are awesome and it’s everyone around us causing the bad things to happen and messing things up for us.  The problem couldn’t lie within us because we are “f-ing awesome.” Sure, there are some little things in life that we should change about ourselves, and that’s why we make new years resolutions, but for the most part we are perfect human beings. This is what so many people in the millennial generation believe.
My question to Ms. Vanessa Elizabeth and everyone else in the same place as her is “Do you think you will finally find satisfaction after your 23 things are done?”Will you finally be at a point where you can settle down? Or will you keep searching for something that brings complete satisfaction in your life?" I can tell you right now that no matter how many of those you cross off your list, and after you have completed everything off a "46 things to do before you are 46" list that there will still be a huge void in your life. Because the truth is you are not awesome and neither am I.  I believe that deep down people know that they are not perfect and they are searching frantically for anything that will give them meaning. I get it, you have grown up in a world where music and movies tell you that love will give you satisfaction, school tells you that your career will give you satisfaction, and society tells you that money and possessions will give you satisfaction. If you just chase one of these enough your life will be fulfilled.

Here is where the challenge lies as we try to preach the gospel to our generation. First, we have to show the Ms. Vanessa Elizabeths of the world that instead of being perfect they are sinners in desperate, desperate need of a Savior as we all are. Second, the #1 item on any resolution/to-do/bucket list should be to bring glory to God in all things. If that is first place in your life then you will discover the satisfaction that you are so desperately trying to find. Paul said it so simply in Philippians when he said, “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”
Right after the "23 Things" article came out many other bloggers jumped on the chance to write a response about how wonderful marriage is and that the writer had the wrong view on it. The secret to a lasting and fulfilling marriage isn’t whether you get married before or after 23 but whether or not Christ is at the center of it. The most defining moment of our lives isn’t something we can cross off a list but what Christ did on the cross.  

For Ms. Vanessa Elizabeth and everyone in the same place as her I pray they will find the truth.  For us as Christians I pray that we will not get caught up in the things of this world but will whole-heartedly pursue Christ. Sir Francis Drake says it so well in his prayer. Even though I have posted it before it is worth reposting.

Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too pleased with ourselves,

When our dreams have come true

Because we dreamed too little,

When we arrived safely

Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord,
When
with the abundance of things we possess

We have lost our thirst

For the waters of life;

Having fallen in love with life,

We have ceased to dream of eternity

And in our efforts to build a new earth,

We have allowed our vision

Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,

To venture on wilder seas

Where storms will show Your mastery;

Where losing sight of land,

We shall find the stars.
We ask you to push back

The horizons of our hopes;

And to push back the future


In strength, courage, hope, and love.

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